It can be hard to make friends
Good friends make the world go around! It’s awful when your head fills with a bag of billy-no-mate worries, but let’s get one thing straight from the start: loads of us can remember a time when we felt alone and a bit friendless. But here’s the good news: there isn’t a ‘buddy’ gene that you are either born with or without. Friendship isn’t all about being cool and listening to the ‘right’ bands (though there’s no doubt image can open a fair few doors). There’s a skill and an art to making friends.
This quiz is designed to help you figure out ways to find your own level in the social pack and to feel good about the company you keep.
1. What do you think is the easiest way to conquer shyness?
a) Reminding yourself that your ideas and jokes are as worth sharing as anybody’s – there’s a lot of world out there to enjoy!
b) Telling yourself that shyness is arguably a bit selfish – it makes others feel ill-at-ease.
c) Cultivating your passion – be that diving or Dr Who – and seeking out actual or virtual places where people who share your passion can be found.
2. It looks to you as if your entire school is divided into tribes: - chavs, goths, nerds and the cool. Feeling you don’t belong anywhere, you...
a) Try chatting to some tribe members on the grounds that they may not be quite as confident or alien or as they appear.
b) Spend break alone
c) Stick close to anyone who approaches you so you’re not labelled a ‘loser’.
3. You’ve heard it said that you can only be real friends with people who are a lot like you. So, on reflection, do you believe that...
a) It’s fun to mix with somebody different: both of you might gain from seeing how the other one operates.
b) If you’ve nothing immediately in common, you shouldn’t bother getting to know them.
c) You’d like to test out the theory, but stepping beyond your comfort zone is scary.
4. Everyone knows you’ve moved to the village because your Dad lost his business. You feel…
a) Sad at the change in family circumstances, but strong enough for a new start
b) You’d hate anyone to gloat at your misfortune, but you’re angry with Dad because it just might happen.
c) It’s too hard to face the kids who once called you ‘Posho.’
5. You sense that you are only tolerated in your pack of six friends. Sometimes you’re all talking online and they block you ‘for a joke.’ Do you...
a) Reckon this says more about them than you, and seek a welcome elsewhere
b) Suffer in silence because they are better than no mates at all
c) Conclude that the world beyond home is too harsh to tackle.
6. You’re keen to join the new area youth club. But so does the boy who taunts you on the street. Do you...
a) Recognise that it’s your club too: give it a try, first warning the youth worker why you’re anxious.
b) Delay so long that alliances have already formed and you’d feel the awkward newbie if you did show up.
c) Listen to your Mum who says you’d best stay away.
7. You’d like to be a good listener, but you fear you might say the wrong thing when someone wants to confide in you for the first time. Do you...
a) Give your best attention to what’s being said and tell your new friend you’re not sure, but you’re going to give him/her your honest opinion.
b) Spend the next few days wondering if you’ve given rubbish advice.
c) Suggest they spill the beans elsewhere - to the friend everyone goes to for help.
Date of Review: 14/02/2013
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